One of the most important choices you will make in a divorce or legal separation will be who you will select as your attorney. And one of the next most important choices to be made, will be who your spouse or partner chooses as an attorney. Lawyers have the power to set the tone in a negotiation, and because they are often the only players at the table with any experience with divorce matters, clients can quickly lose control over the process and over the outcome of their own divorce.
Many of the lawyers responsible for what some might describe as the hijacking of their clients' cases, mean well. Whether motivated by a belief that their primary duty as a lawyer is to ensure that their clients get the the "most" of whatever is at stake, or whether they simply do not understand that there is much more at stake in a divorce than money and custody, they believe that they are serving their clients best by discouraging a settlement or by encouraging a particular position, often at great financial and emotional cost to the client and the family.
I recently came across this article on the subject of "lawyer paternalism" by California collaborative attorney and mediator Mark Baer that addresses specifically the importance of finding an attorney that empowers clients to define the goals of their divorce process, and to make their own decisions as to the "reasonableness" of a settlement. I couldn't agree more, and encourage divorcing or separating spouses to work together to locate attorneys that are trained in mediation and/or Collaborative divorce, even in cases that will involve limited legal services, such as document review and legal coaching. Doing so will greatly increase the chance of reaching a settlement that meets both parties needs, and at a lower cost, both emotionally and financially.
Many of the lawyers responsible for what some might describe as the hijacking of their clients' cases, mean well. Whether motivated by a belief that their primary duty as a lawyer is to ensure that their clients get the the "most" of whatever is at stake, or whether they simply do not understand that there is much more at stake in a divorce than money and custody, they believe that they are serving their clients best by discouraging a settlement or by encouraging a particular position, often at great financial and emotional cost to the client and the family.
I recently came across this article on the subject of "lawyer paternalism" by California collaborative attorney and mediator Mark Baer that addresses specifically the importance of finding an attorney that empowers clients to define the goals of their divorce process, and to make their own decisions as to the "reasonableness" of a settlement. I couldn't agree more, and encourage divorcing or separating spouses to work together to locate attorneys that are trained in mediation and/or Collaborative divorce, even in cases that will involve limited legal services, such as document review and legal coaching. Doing so will greatly increase the chance of reaching a settlement that meets both parties needs, and at a lower cost, both emotionally and financially.
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