<![CDATA[Kirsten Hytopoulos  |  Attorney At Law, PLLC - News & Views]]>Tue, 25 Jun 2024 03:05:02 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[The Origin of Collaborative Divorce]]>Fri, 23 Dec 2022 02:23:35 GMThttp://collaborativedivorcesettlement.com/news--views/the-origin-of-collaborative-divorcePicture
It's hard to believe that it's been almost 33 years since the birth of collaborative divorce. While we still have work to do in making that process the norm rather than the exception, much has been accomplished over the three decades since a disillusioned family law litigator in Minnesota had an idea. Today, more than 22,000 lawyers practicing in a wide range of legal systems across six continents have been trained in collaborative divorce, a testament to the universality of the principles and values of collaborative law. Here is the letter that started a revolution...
]]><![CDATA[The Role of Personal Therapy in Divorce]]>Mon, 01 May 2017 05:37:46 GMThttp://collaborativedivorcesettlement.com/news--views/the-role-of-personal-therapy-in-divorce
One of the questions I am likely to ask any new client is whether he or she is seeing a therapist. I always follow up the question with a quick reassurance that I ask all of my clients this question. And I do so for a very good reason. Any attorney practicing in the area of divorce and separation will tell you that for most if not all clients going through this life-changing event, mental health support is critical.
This adage applies as much to the spouse who, emotionally or otherwise, left the relationship long ago, as it does to the spouse who is struggling to pick up the pieces after a sudden abandonment. Whether the emotions at play are anger, fear, resentment, sorrow, betrayal or regret, the ability to work through the personal trauma of divorce in a safe, supported space away from one’s spouse and the divorce process is invaluable.
 
Individual therapy also greatly increases the chance of reaching a divorce settlement faster and more economically. Among the most common roadblocks to settlement are unresolved emotional issues, which cannot be adequately addressed in a legal process. Even in a Collaborative Divorce process, which generally includes the use of a neutral mental professional, individual counseling provides significant value to each spouse.
 
If you are looking at the possibility of divorce, consider engaging a personal therapist to support your individual emotional needs during the process. At the very least, therapy allows for a smoother and more thoughtful transition to a new life.  For many, it can be a prerequisite to a successful outcome in both the divorce process and beyond.
]]><![CDATA[Whose Divorce is this Anyway?]]>Sun, 12 Apr 2015 00:20:49 GMThttp://collaborativedivorcesettlement.com/news--views/whos-divorce-is-this-anywayPicture
One of the most important choices you will make in a divorce or legal separation will be who you will select as your attorney. And one of the next most important choices to be made, will be who your spouse or partner chooses as an attorney. Lawyers have the power to set the tone in a negotiation, and because they are often the only players at the table with any experience with divorce matters, clients can quickly lose control over the process and over the outcome of their own divorce. 

Many of the lawyers responsible for what some might describe as the hijacking of their clients' cases, mean well. Whether motivated by a belief that their primary duty as a lawyer is to ensure that their clients get the the "most" of whatever is at stake, or whether they simply do not understand that there is much more at stake in a divorce than money and custody, they  believe that they are serving their clients best by discouraging a settlement or by encouraging a particular position, often at great financial and emotional cost to the client and the family.

I recently came across this article on the subject of "lawyer paternalism" by California collaborative attorney and mediator Mark Baer that addresses specifically the importance of finding an attorney that empowers clients to define the goals of their divorce process, and to make their own decisions as to the "reasonableness" of a settlement. I couldn't agree more, and encourage divorcing or separating spouses to work together to locate attorneys that are trained in mediation and/or Collaborative divorce, even in cases that will involve limited legal services, such as document review and legal coaching. Doing so will greatly increase the chance of reaching a settlement that meets both parties needs, and at a lower cost, both emotionally and financially.
]]><![CDATA[It's Not About the Nail]]>Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:18:36 GMThttp://collaborativedivorcesettlement.com/news--views/its-not-about-the-nail
When I first came across this video, in a Collaborative Divorce training a year or so ago, I knew immediately that I wanted share it on my website.  It takes an absurdist approach to a  scene that is probably familiar to any of us who have been in intimate relationships and in so doing, starkly highlights some basic principles of good communication.  Of course, more than anything else, it's just fun to watch.
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